Do You Like Phone Calls?

I realized something, umm…scary, last night. Phone calls give me anxiety. Is that normal? Am I the only one?


I used to be that girl, who could spend hours on the phone with a friend. There was a day when my mother unplugged the phone from me because even after she told me a million times to wind down the convo, I was going strong 4 hours in. Back then, talking on the phone was the coolest thing you could do. Every time the telephone rang in my house, my sisters and I used to race to it because we all wanted to be the first to pick. I also loved all the secondary activity that came naturally with a phone call; playing with the curly cord, drawing or writing on the phone book, applying nail polish and so many more.

But nowadays, it’s a whole different story. If I am not expecting any calls, and I receive one from family or friends, I immediately think something bad has happened or I am in trouble. It makes my heart race a million miles and you can hear the nervousness in my voice. Most of the time, they just called to say hi!

Of recent, I like the idea of phone calls. No doubt, social media apps have made lives easier, but they also lack intimacy. Emotions are not expressed properly in a chat message. There are times when the news is so exciting that I’d want to scream in delight with a friend and during those times I dislike text messages. I just type as fast as I can, whispering my scream, which leads to aching fingers and a dry throat. A call is more celebratory.

Text messages have also made us into people who overpromise and underdeliver.

According to The New York Times, we now live in the “golden age of bailing”. It is hard for me to say “no” in a direct confrontation which often means I’m guilty of bailing too. When I’m slothful on a hangout day, I just send a quick text, “sorry”, followed by an excuse. I admit, at times I do it because it is so convenient to just send a text and cancel. I wonder if I would still be bailing if I had to make a phone call to cancel. Maybe not, because if I am making up an excuse, it gets harder to keep up with it over the phone. One question can lead to many others, and unless you’re a badass that would just abruptly put the phone down, you’re stuck. It’s easier to pretend you are too busy to text back.

Texting on a regular basis is unavoidable so I have given myself two occasions where a phone call is a must.

First, I must call if I am baling. It not only makes me want to bail less but when sincere, it comes across much better over a phone call and has a higher chance of leading to set another date.

Second, a big news occasion deserves a phone call. I wouldn’t want to spend such a day replying to text messages. Ask me about the lead up to it and we shall scream and laugh together! With how rare phone calls have become, it makes the day even more special.

Like The New York Times states, “reliability is a core element of treating people well, that how you spend your time is how you spend your life, and that if you don’t flake on people who mater you have  a chance to build deeper and better friendships and live in a better and more respectful way.”

Photo: “Martian Woman on the Telephone” by Weegee.